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Which one is my ***favourite*** Genshin character? 🤔

Which one is my ***favourite*** Genshin character? 🤔

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Did you hear about the oil spill relief workers who cleaned ..

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Did you hear about the oil spill relief workers who cleaned 15 dolphins with a single box of borax? Turns out that, just like it says on the box, it’s a great multi-porpoise cleanser.

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I need to stop hanging around with pessimistic horses. Neigh..

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I need to stop hanging around with pessimistic horses. Neigh-sayers never add anything to the conversation.

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Why is Toad invited to so many parties? Because he’s a fun..

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Because he’s a fun.. from onlyfans

Why is Toad invited to so many parties? Because he’s a fun-gi!

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***Scratch to Win, meeeow*** 🐈‍⬛️ Mark your territory by ti..

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***Scratch to Win, meeeow*** 🐈‍⬛️ Mark your territory by tipping $10 for a number 🐾 scratch open your choice for a purrrfect prize *Prizes include JOI, themed content bundles, nude video ratings, XXX goodies*

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What do you call it when a cat wins first place at a dog sho..

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What do you call it when a cat wins first place at a dog show? A cat-has-trophy!

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Fiction always talks about the drama and mystery surrounding..

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Fiction always talks about the drama and mystery surrounding a departed relative’s will. But most of the time, it’s a dead giveaway.

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Why do university administrators love asparagus? It’s all ..

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It’s all .. from onlyfans

Why do university administrators love asparagus? It’s all stem.

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My local Renaissance Festival is casting Knights tomorrow at..

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My local Renaissance Festival is casting Knights tomorrow at 4pm. Be there or be Squire.

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My friend David just had his ID stolen. We just call him Dav..

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My friend David just had his ID stolen. We just call him Dav now.

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What did the cow tell the butcher? Please stop, or else we'..

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Please stop, or else we'.. from onlyfans

What did the cow tell the butcher? Please stop, or else we're gonna have some beef.

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My very favorite dishes are all cooked with petroleum byprod..

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My very favorite dishes are all cooked with petroleum byproducts. I guess you could say I have refined taste.

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A human, an elf and a dwarf walk into a bar... The Hobbit l..

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The Hobbit l.. from onlyfans

A human, an elf and a dwarf walk into a bar... The Hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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Why did the bum sit on the clock? It wanted to be on “tush ..

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It wanted to be on “tush .. from onlyfans

Why did the bum sit on the clock? It wanted to be on “tush time”!

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Did you hear about the woman who put snakes in her hair to c..

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Did you hear about the woman who put snakes in her hair to cure migraines? Yeah, it’s oddly Medusinal.

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How can you tell when a clock is hungry? It goes back four s..

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How can you tell when a clock is hungry? It goes back four seconds.

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Why don’t chemists like puns? All the best ones argon.

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Why don’t chemists like puns? All the best ones argon.

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I was sitting in a coffee shop, and “Bolero” came on. Around..

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I was sitting in a coffee shop, and “Bolero” came on. Around 8 minutes later, everything started to un-Ravel.

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What do you give the Pharaoh who has everything? A gift cart..

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What do you give the Pharaoh who has everything? A gift cartouche.

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They say that no two people see colour the exact same way, s..

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They say that no two people see colour the exact same way, so really, colour is just a pigment of your imagination.

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What do you call an Eevee evolution that specializes in mele..

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What do you call an Eevee evolution that specializes in melee? Bludgeon

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My friend fell into an upholstery machine. He’s fully recove..

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My friend fell into an upholstery machine. He’s fully recovered now.

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Did you hear about the Celiac Disease sufferer who went to a..

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Did you hear about the Celiac Disease sufferer who went to a wheat processing plant? She was a real Gluten for punishment.

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***Scroll across to pick your hot dawg stand*** *A most deli..

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***Scroll across to pick your hot dawg stand*** *A most delicious time indeed* 🌭 each bun contains a super saucy gift 🌭 $10 per sausage delight

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Did you hear about the antiques collector who found an old C..

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Did you hear about the antiques collector who found an old Coca-Cola lamp? She was soda lighted.

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Did you hear about the exorcist who offers a payment plan? A..

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Did you hear about the exorcist who offers a payment plan? Apparently if people fall behind on payments, they’ll get repossessed!

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**Useless Fact of the Day:** ***Your fingernails grow faste..

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***Your fingernails grow faste.. from onlyfans

**Useless Fact of the Day:** ***Your fingernails grow faster on your dominant hand.***

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Did you hear that somebody spiked the punch at a roof design..

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Did you hear that somebody spiked the punch at a roof designer convention? The next day, everybody had a terrible overhang.

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What do you get when Eevee is exposed to a French Stone? Na..

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Na.. from onlyfans

What do you get when Eevee is exposed to a French Stone? Napoleon!

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Me waiting impatiently for my food delivery

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Me waiting impatiently for my food delivery

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