Mannequins fucking fascinate me! They are just like a giant Barbie, they are dressed up and put on display... No one really knows what they think of things and what their thoughts are! LOL! I know they aren't real but hear me out what if they were and they just couldn't fucking tell us?? π²
2023-09-17 18:05:03 +0000 UTC View Post
Good morning, superstar! Today's goal: more coffee, less adulting.
2023-09-17 15:02:01 +0000 UTC View Post
Once at the mall, I got lost and, the fucking smudges and shit on my glasses made me mistake someone who I thought could fucking help me!!! I asked a mannequin for directions. It obviously didn't give me any, but it had this smug, plastic grin that made me question my life choices! π So yeah, that's right, my finest hour in the 'navigation by mannequin' saga. Lost in the mall, but at least I gave that mannequin a good laugh! π
2023-09-17 06:02:02 +0000 UTC View Post
OMG!! All this reminds me of this one time at a friend's party... So, at a party, I went up to what I believed was a fancy vase and said, "You're looking great today!" Everyone stared because I was actually complimenting a potted plant. Plants deserve love too!!! LOL! That's the story I am fucking sticking to!! π
2023-09-17 05:02:02 +0000 UTC View Post
Picture this β I spotted what I thought was a smudge on someone's face. Without thinking, I fucking reached out and tried to wipe it off. π³ Turns out, it was a total stranger! FUCK!!! Now I'm just an unwitting member of the 'Nose-Wiping Vigilante' club. Glasses are making people see the real weirdo I am!! π€£
2023-09-17 03:04:01 +0000 UTC View Post
OMG!!! LOL!! I bumped into a fire hydrant and fucking apologized... to the fire hydrant Yup, being a 'blind superhero' with smudgy lenses is no joke. I think the hydrant appreciated how polite I was though. Who knows, it might secretly be a crime-fighting ally! My glasses make life an epic fucking comedy!!!
2023-09-16 22:59:03 +0000 UTC View Post
LOL!!! Fuck me!!! Don't you freaks dare laugh at me!! So, my trusty 'second pair of eyes' decided to throw a smudge party again. I spotted my neighborβor so I thought. Waved enthusiastically. Turns out, it was a broom. π³ But hey, who's judging? Broom, neighbor, same difference! π€£
2023-09-16 20:01:01 +0000 UTC View Post
Wearing glasses means that you constantly have a second pair of eyes that are dirty... I totally mistook one of my plants as a pet! I tried to fucking pet a cactus!! LOL!! I NEED tips on how to keep my glasses clean! Do you freaks have any tips? Head over to my DMs and let me know! π
2023-09-16 18:05:02 +0000 UTC View Post
Good morning! May your coffee be strong, and your day be as bright as your future.
2023-09-16 15:02:02 +0000 UTC View Post
Life's like a comedy show with an endless supply of awkward moments. But you know what they say when life gives you awkward lemons, make some funny lemonade... and grab a snack! π€ͺ Cheers to more side-splitting, snack-fueled escapades! May our clumsy misadventures continue to provide the best material for laughter and the best excuses for snack breaks! π€£
2023-09-16 06:02:03 +0000 UTC View Post
Picture this: I stroll into the job interview, ready to impress, and bam! Blank moment. I forgot why I was even there. The good news? My interviewer had snacks within arm's reach. So, I improvised. "I'm here for the...Snacks, I mean job!" Suddenly, I'm interviewing for the coolest snack curator position ever. Turns out, forgetfulness pays off! π€£
2023-09-16 00:59:01 +0000 UTC View Post
Just another chapter in my 'Awkward Chronicles.' Today's saga: the epic battle with a push door that insisted on being pulled. Victory? Not on the first or second attempt. But lo and behold, on the third try, I cracked the code! Thank goodness for my trusty snack stash, my secret weapon against daily dilemmas. It's like my snacks are my sidekicks in this ongoing comedy show!
2023-09-15 21:01:01 +0000 UTC View Post
Today, I waved at this dude, thinking he was giving me the 'hi-five.' But, plot twist! He was just playing hat DJ! So, I thought, 'What's a gal gotta do to catch a break?' Well, the answer: dive headfirst into a bag of comforting, crispy chips! It's like my awkward life is sponsored by snacks. π€£
2023-09-15 18:05:02 +0000 UTC View Postπ ππππππ π ππππππππ I KNOW you wanna see me fuck a playmate quote #FUCKINGAPLAYMATE in your DMs and it's yours! π @camistrella
2023-09-15 17:30:03 +0000 UTC View Post
Rise and shine, sleepy ninja! Your mission today: be awesome without anyone noticing.
2023-09-15 15:02:01 +0000 UTC View Post
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!! It was finally fucking tamed! My hair went back to its sleek beautiful un-tornado-like self!! All it took was having a burst tap in the kitchen... LOL! π€£
2023-09-15 05:02:02 +0000 UTC View Post
THEN!!! I was just innocently walking down the street looking like I had been thrown out of a fucking tornado! And a pigeon tried to make my hair into a nest! That's when I realized I needed more help taming this disaster that was my fucking hair!
2023-09-15 03:04:01 +0000 UTC View Post
So, I grabbed my trusty brush and decided it was time for a hair intervention. But fuck me, my hair wasn't having any of it! It turned into a full-blown rebellious bush, all fluffy and defiant. It's like it had its own punk rock concert going on, and the brush was just an annoying person trying to ruin its fun. I was so close to just giving up...
2023-09-14 23:59:02 +0000 UTC View Post
My hair is like a diva from a soap opera. It's got opinions, and mood swings, and it's not afraid to show 'em! I wake up, and it's like, "Today, we're going for the wild tumbleweed look!" I try to reason with it, but it's in its own world, living its best hair life. Basically, it's the boss, and I'm just along for the ride!
2023-09-14 20:01:01 +0000 UTC View Post
Today's hairstyle? Let's just say it's a masterpiece β 'The Morning Explosion' edition. Went to bed with dreams of sleek hair, and woke up with a chaotic hairdo that defied gravity. It's like I'm auditioning for a role in a shampoo commercial, but the 'before' version. Tried to tame it, but it's got a mind of its own. It's not a bad hair day; it's a hair rebellion!
2023-09-14 18:05:03 +0000 UTC View Post
Good morning! Today's agenda: Smile, laugh, and conquer the world. Easy, right?
2023-09-14 15:02:02 +0000 UTC View Post
In Dildo, forget about "rush hour" traffic; they've got something way better β "giggle hour" traffic! It's when everyone's cruising along, chuckling, and taking their sweet time. Horn honks are replaced by laughter and road rage? Nope, just road giggles! It's like one big happy parade, where the only race is to see who can tell the funniest jokes while stuck in traffic. Traffic jams have never been so entertaining!
2023-09-14 06:02:03 +0000 UTC View Post
You know, when folks from Dildo start telling stories, you better brace yourself for a wild ride! Their tales are like roller coasters with unexpected loops and surprises. It's like, "I went to the store, but then a moose offered me a job as a lumberjack, and before I knew it, I was having tea with a talking beaver!" In Dildo, everyday life is anything but ordinary!
2023-09-14 04:04:03 +0000 UTC View Post
You just know the weather forecast in Dildo is never boring! They must have a daily prediction that goes something like, "Today's forecast: 50 shades of fun with a chance of giggles." Forget about 'partly cloudy' or 'rainy days.' In Dildo, it's all about the shades of fun! They probably have a 'sunny with a chance of laughter' kind of vibe every day.
2023-09-14 00:59:01 +0000 UTC View Post
You've got to wonder if the local hardware store in Dildo stocks some, let's say, the RIGHT tools! I mean, they probably have hammers and nails like any other store, but do they also carry, well, 'specialty' items? "Sir, I'm looking for a wrench, some screws, and, oh yeah, one of your latest dildos you folks are famous for!" DIY in Dildo must be a whole different adventure!
2023-09-13 21:01:09 +0000 UTC View Post
I have decided!! This is it, I am packing up and moving!! I just found a place in Canada called DILDO!!! Why did I not know this, have you freaks been hiding this from me?? Tell me in my DMs I am not the only one that didn't know about this gem of a city!! π²
2023-09-13 18:05:34 +0000 UTC View Post
Rise and shine, and have an AMAZING day!!!
2023-09-13 15:02:50 +0000 UTC View Post
LOL!!! You all got it!! We are all the same with our weirdness!! I LOVE all you fuckers so fucking much! π
2023-09-13 06:02:03 +0000 UTC View Post
Who doesn't love a beaver, a hairy beaver, a shaved beaver, a busy beaver, if you freaks don't love beavers I need to know WHY!! LOL and if you aren't getting it then I think you need to DM me and ask why I LOVE beavers!! π
2023-09-13 04:04:02 +0000 UTC View Post
OMG, the national animal of Canada is a BEAVER!!! That's the national animal of Bambi too! LOL π
2023-09-12 19:01:20 +0000 UTC View Post
